To pacify you, my dear pets,
I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets.

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
    son/daughter who is short hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
           
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called.
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,

AND
           
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!!